


Exulted Haircut

by sardonyx164



Series: Operation Heartfelt (Humans Encourage Aliens' Reflection Totally Forming Excellent Lessons Together) [13]
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hairbrushing, Haircuts, Platonic Kisses, Screenplay/Script Format, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164
Summary: Nigel fixes Chad's hair.
Relationships: Nigel Uno & Chad Dickson
Series: Operation Heartfelt (Humans Encourage Aliens' Reflection Totally Forming Excellent Lessons Together) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831942
Kudos: 1
Collections: Operation Friend





	Exulted Haircut

**Author's Note:**

> -Relevant Links:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jXZKIqZl_U&feature=youtu.be  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT1syxCAYus
> 
> -Alternate Universe ideas:  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/TheLEGOMovie  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/TheLEGOMovie2TheSecondPart  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/Megamind

_[Scene: a bathroom on the Galactic Kids Next Door ship. Chad is sitting on a stool and getting his hair fixed by a very annoyed Nigel (who is standing on another stool so he can actually reach Chad’s hair)]_

**Nigel:** Chad?

 **Chad:** [sighing with pleasure at Nigel’s gentle touches] Yeah~?

 **Nigel:**...Why do you have to be so immature sometimes?

 **Chad:** [sighing with pleasure again] What do you mean~?

 **Nigel** : [growling] You _idiotic_ teenager! You _seriously_ don’t remember how sulky you acted when the aliens of Zaptopia tried to fix or otherwise touch your hair?!

 **Chad:** [angrily/playfully] Look, princess, I would rather have my hair fixed by someone who doesn’t...you know, mess up my hair _simply by standing next to me_. And also, would you rather want an alien barber who has _no idea_ how to fix a human’s hair, or would you rather want a human barber who...[sighing with pleasure yet again]...ah, gives you nice scalp massages~?

 **Nigel:** [nodding with agreement] You have a point...[angrily blushing]...hey, hold on a minute! I’m not massaging your scalp on purpose! _I’m fixing your hair!_

 **Chad:** [humming happily] Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

_[Nigel rolls his eyes as he continues to brush/fix Chad’s hair in silence. The silence is broken when Chad starts snickering at nothing in particular]_

**Chad:** Hey. Hey, Nigel.

 **Nigel:** [sighing out of exasperation] What.

 **Chad:** I guess you could say that I avoided a _hairy_ situation with those galactic barbers!

_[Chad chuckles at his own terrible joke, but his laughter is interrupted when Nigel starts to gently pull his hair]_

**Nigel:** [innocently] Oh, I see that you have some knots in your hair! Let me take care of them for you!

 **Chad:** [wincing at the hair pulling] You know, you...could just say that you hate my puns...you don’t have to pull at my hair so much...

 **Nigel:** [flatly] I just told you that I’m getting the knots out of your hair, you stupid teenager. It had nothing to do with your bad jokes.

 **Chad:** Hey, you...don’t have to make such a cutting remark--

_[Chad winces more as he feels Nigel pulling at his hair again]_

**Nigel:** [innocently] Just taking care of the knots in your hair again. You’re welcome, by the way. [smugly] Oh, by the way, can I ask you something, Chad?

 **Chad:**...Yeah?

 **Nigel:** [starting to cut Chad’s hair] How does the man on the moon get his hair done? Eclipse it.

 **Chad:** [trying to hold back his laughter] That pun was hairy.

 **Nigel:** [also trying to hold back his laughter] I’m just...getting my revenge on you for making so many bad hair puns. [looking over Chad’s new haircut] You could say that this is your...

 **Nigel/Chad:** Punishment!

_[The two burst out laughing at their own stupid jokes. However, Nigel abruptly stops laughing when he realizes exactly what kind of haircut he just gave to Chad]_

**Nigel:** [putting his hand over his mouth with amazement] Sir...

 **Chad:** [slowly stops laughing] Huh? What’s... up?

_[Chad finds himself staring at his own reflection with amazement and joy; his current haircut now closely resembles the haircut that he had as the Supreme Leader]_

**Chad:** Wow...

 **Nigel:** [reflexively saluting] Numbuh 274, sir! I’m ready to follow your orders, sir!

_[Chad stares at Nigel out of confusion for a few moments before he realizes what the younger boy is trying to say. Chad then shakes his head a bit and clears his throat]_

**Chad:** At ease, Numbuh One. [Nigel drops his salute] So, kid...[smiling warmly/playfully]...I gotta say that you did an excellent job with fixing my hair.

 **Nigel** : [bashfully] Um, thank you sir, I mean, Chad, I mean--

 **Chad:** [putting his thumb over Nigel’s lips] Stop talking, Numbuh One. [winking at Nigel] I have to give you a big reward for doing such an excellent job~

_[Chad plants a kiss onto Nigel’s (thumb-blocked) lips. After a few seconds, Chad pulls away from the kiss to see that Nigel’s face is very red]_

**Chad:** Hmm, I have a feeling that one kiss won’t be much of a reward. [smirking playfully] How about I give you... ninety nine more kisses, all on your lovely bald scalp~? [taking his thumb off of Nigel’s lips] What do you say~?

 **Nigel:** [lovestruck] Yes, sir...

 **Chad:** Say please~

 **Nigel:** Um, please...

 **Chad:** Please...what~?

 **Nigel** : _Please_ give me a scalp massage. And please... _please_ give me ninety nine more kisses on my scalp, _please_.

 **Chad:** [chuckling] As you wish, my dear Nigel...

End

**Author's Note:**

> -I'm pretty sure that the residents of Zaptopia were really apologetic after they messed up Chad's hair by accident. Chad doesn't want to go back (he doesn't want to ruin his haircut), while Nigel just decides to return to Zaptopia without Chad.
> 
> -It's likely that Chad is just making excuses to get Nigel to give him a scalp massage...er, a haircut. 
> 
> -How could Nigel and Chad survive on Zaptopia without an electricity proof suit? I don't know. How can Sector V travel to Saturn and back to Earth in one day?  
> How can Sector V survive a volcanic environment?  
> How come Nigel and Chad didn't seem cold at all when they were walking through a snowy area without any coats or scarves or mittens?  
> Uh...a wizard did it. Or it's just simple cartoon logic. Whatever the case, it's better if you don't question it.
> 
> -I can say with certainty that if Nigel didn't get distracted by Chad's new haircut, then he would be wistfully saying "Hoagie would be so proud right now...". Chad would then give Nigel a comforting hug, and say: "I'll make sure to tell even more jokes, then. Not just to make you feel better, but to make Hoagie even prouder." [You could view this as an alternate ending to this story.]
> 
> -Go back and watch Chad's debut episode. His hair is kind of...messier, in a way. It's hard to describe, but if you compare Chad's hair in his debut to his hair in future episodes, you can see the difference:  
> https://edorazzi.tumblr.com/post/74227699690/how-old-are-you-twelve-how-long


End file.
